C onnect intimately
based on fears and insecurities by end of first date.
A ccentuate the desirable, hide the undesirable, portray self as ideal partner.
R ecognize sexual proclivities & coquettishly present them as own.
R eact to perceived or anticipated rejection by aggressive counter-rejection.
I nitiate seemingly endless cycles of intense idealization and devaluation.
E mpathize strategically for total emotional, mental, and sexual control.
WARNING: Employing the C.A.R.R.I.E. System may cause side-effects in partner(s), including but not limited to major depression, anxiety, unstable sense of self, new-found fear of relationships, chipped shoulders, wounded egos, damaged psyches, and a butt-load of cautionary tales for friends, family, coworkers, and complete strangers who still believe in love.
