I Need

i need his voice in my ear
it's deeper than the one in my head
so terrible, it tells me
i'm no good.

i need his body close to mine
so i can hold his hard belly
feel the coarse hair, forget that
next to him i'm a sack of flesh and jelly.

i need to be close to his heart
and hear the beats louder than my own
sad parade of sobbing drums, what do you do
when the conductor hates conducting?

if i could, i would
replace the thoughts in my brain
with his whispers: he loves
me, he says. "I love me," I would say.

when i am alone and the shadows dance
wickedly and the tongue licks me
with its jagged edge, and there is
only my thoughts, i need him.

in my dreams, i pluck out my eyes
and wear his, i speak low, touch
my breasts with harder hands, press
against the soft body of a ghost
and i am not alone. 

COPYRIGHT 2010 CARRIE-LYNNE DAVIS